A letter to the Norwegian Tourism Ministry (Draft)

Dear Minister for Tourism,

Hei! (See how I demonstrate my mastery of the Norwegian language, oh yes!) I’ve recently returned from a wonderful week in Finnmark region, exploring the rugged coastline and wild tundra, meeting the welcoming local people, and experiencing the otherworldliness of the midnight sun.


Ice on a puddle

…there are a number of questions I have, which I hope you can answer for me.  Before travelling to Norway I watched and excellent nature documentary, called something like Trolljegeren, and it really opened my eyes to the diversity of natural species found in your country.

There was one in particular that really caught my attention, and caused me to think deeply whilst I travelled, and to consider the plight of the species at what must be a vital point for its future survival.

So, please can you let me know what happens to trolls during the midnight sun?


Night vision footage of a troll from the film
Lichens. Lovely.

We all know that trolls turn to stone when exposed to sunlight, with some even exploding, so how do they cope with the 24hours of light experienced in the far north?  Are they migratory creatures, travelling far to the south in spring in search of dark nights?

Do they migrate alone, or gather together in large numbers for the journey, much like the reindeer do?  When do they leave the Arctic for southern regions, and when do they return again in the autumn?  Where does the migration route take them?  Is this a natural spectacle worthy of observing, a wonder of the world, like the migrations of wildebeest and zebra across the plains of Africa?  Or is it fraught with danger for the locals living along the route, and should be avoided at all cost?  And how are the trolls affected by the construction of electric fencing along their migration routes?

But perhaps they don’t travel far and wide.  Are they one of the few species that aestivate (that’s the summer version of hibernate; get me with the science words!), finding caves and making dens, then becoming dormant through the warm, light months of summer?  Are there particular areas set aside as nature reserves for the sleeping trolls?  Is there a conflict of interest between the trolls and humans making use of wilderness areas for leisure activities, such as skiing and hiking?  I’ll bet that snow scooters are a particular problem disturbing trolls in their dens.  Is there a national statistic for the number of snowmobilers that are eaten by trolls each year in rural areas?

Rock or troll

And finally, just how are trolls classified, in biological terms?  Their hard exterior suggests to me that they could be some form of crustacean.  So would that mean that there could be a possibility that at some time in the future trolls could hybridise with the king crab that have colonised the Barents Sea?  How much crab meat would you get on that?  Now that would be make  gripping episode of Deadliest Catch.

Thanks in advance for your help,




3 thoughts on “A letter to the Norwegian Tourism Ministry (Draft)

  1. Suze June 13, 2013 / 14:43

    Haha interesting. I bet they’re under the earth for the whole summer time 🙂
    Can’t wait to read more about Norway on here. We’re gonna be there in 3 weeks! Greetings

    • vickyinglis June 13, 2013 / 14:46

      Hope that you enjoy your time in Norway, and that you don’t accidentally stumble on a troll nest!

  2. broadsideblog June 13, 2013 / 15:35

    Probably best not to send it. But great post! 🙂

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